Tfw she say “brb shower” and you have to control the urge to say “can I join lol”
I live in a conservative/unfunny town, so this type of thing is almost unheard of
*goes to england*
me: excuse me, what time is it?
brit: time wots that m8?
*big ben chimes*
everyone starts to count the bongs on their fingers*
brit: OI IT’S 7 BONG
just my edit
Having a bath with a tattoo that’s still healing is bloody annoying 😒
A human getting pissed at their vampire boyfriend so they put in a silver sterling tongue stud and bracelets and earrings and their vampire boyfriend is just standing five feet away like “babe. c’mon.”
Vampire: “The fair is in town, maybe a date will help…”
human spends the whole time in the hall of mirrors
WE HAVE A NEW WINNER.
A seahorse admiring his own reflection from a divers watch.
or maybe he’s checking the fucking time. seahorses got places to go too y’know
The seahorse is one of the slowest fish in the ocean, the smallest able to move themselves at about 6 feet per hour. So if that seahorse has someplace to be I hope they’ve left a lot of time to get there.
"There is no way I am going to be able to pick the kids up from soccer practice now…"
i love seeing girls close ranks when their fella is cheating, instead of defending him and attacking the other girls. like seriously. it warms my cold, cold heart so much.
i need the rest of this story, where did you put the body
I’ve always wanted to do this. I hope they all went out for ice cream later too.
i want an update on this
FORCED TO FLEE WITH HIS NAN
A cheating boyfriend got his comeuppance when he touched down in the UK following a holiday – and walked straight into his three girlfriends.
Charlie Fisher, 20, had barely set foot on English soil at Luton Airport when he heard someone shouting ‘liar, liar’ – and saw the three girls he had been seeing being each other’s backs marching towards him.
Becky Connery, 17, said she planned the (not so) welcome party after finding out her love rat boyfriend had been texting a girl behind her back.
‘He came out and froze,’ she told The Sun.
The girls found each other through text and Facebook and hatched the plan (Picture: Lizzie Leeland-Cunningham)
‘We started calling him a cheat and a liar really loudly. He didn’t have anything to say.’
After seeing the message, Becky got in touch with the 20-year-old girl – who does not want to be identified – and together, the pair found a third girl through Facebook, Lizzie Leeland-Cunningham.
‘I just wanted to see his face when all three of us were in the same place,’ Lizzie, 19, told The Sun.
Becky later said that after confronting her cheating ex, he ‘ran to his nana’.
Charlie, from Hertfordshire, would invent friends and lie about family commitments in order to juggle the three girls, according to reports.